Self-care moments with Ksenija
A conversation with Ksenija Selivanova (@the_moments), aka my personal health guru (and soon to be yours)
Throughout her life, Ksenija has worn many hats: business student, model, food stylist, pilates instructor, skincare guru, and, more recently, health coach. On YouTube and Instagram, she is better known as The Moments, where she inspires hundreds of thousands (and me personally) to follow in her footsteps on the path of self-care. But aside from all of this, she is chiefly an all-round beautiful person, a neighbour, and a friend of mine.
With such an interesting background, I couldn’t help but get nosey. We talked about our shared love of food (and how it can be harnessed as a force for your health), her roots, how she grew into the wellbeing arena, as well as practical tips for anyone wanting to start their own self-care journey.
Q: Your work is at the junction between movement, nutrition and skincare. Can you tell me a little about how these three passions of yours came about? Was there an initial spark for one of them, or did they all come to you around the same time?
If I look back to my childhood, I can trace my early fascination with food and what back then I could only call ‘lotions and potions’.
The love for skincare, and maybe without knowing it back then yet- self-care, definitely came from my mum. I remember she was always making some peculiar concoctions at home that we would lather over our faces or hair. She would make camomile ice cubes and use them first thing in the morning instead of washing her face. She would use castor oil on my hair weekly and make face masks with yoghurt and honey. And I really think those were the fundamentals of what I now know to be self-care. And my main belief is, that just like back then, you do not need a lot of money or time to carve out those meditative, self-loving moments.
So many members of my family are fantastic home cooks, and besides that, a lot of my core memories from childhood are connected to food. Be it foraging for mushrooms with my grandparents in Russia, fermenting cabbage with my mum or making shashlik (our version of a BBQ) with my dad back in Estonia. But I think my main fascination with food came about when I lived and worked in Tuscany, Italy when I was 20. You, more than me, know how important food is in Italian culture. And during my 4 months there I worked in a restaurant in the evening and was blown away by the simplicity and incredible flavours of the food. I think that inspired me to experiment and try things myself. And the rest has really been history. Now planning my meals, sourcing my ingredients, cooking, and looking at recipes is almost my meditation. I love finding different ways I can nourish my body and spirit and have fun doing it.
Movement was a big part of my life when I was at school. I was part of a dance group called Shadows. It wasn’t anything professional, but the community and social aspect of it gave me so much. Then in my 20s, I discovered yoga, later Pilates. And after practicing both for about a year I realised that I have never felt so strong and comfortable in my own skin.
Q: Obviously, a combination of all these three things (good nutrition, movement and skincare) is ideal to achieve a balanced life. But if I can ask a cheeky question: which is the one you absolutely can’t do without if you had to pick? In other words, which one can you bear to forgo the longest?
Without a shadow of a doubt – food. I cook 3 times a day, on most days. A good few hours of my day are spent thinking about food or being involved with it. And I genuinely get excited about the opportunity that every meal brings me. What can I make with the leftovers I have in the fridge? How can I make a delicious and interesting meal out of the ingredients that I arrived in the veg box this week? I also know and believe that food can be so powerful when it comes to our overall health and well-being. It can lift your moods, it can cure heartbreak, it can soothe physical pains, it can heal. truly. But it can also do the opposite. It can cause inflammation, discomfort and chronic illnesses. So educating myself on nutrition has always been a passion of mine. Because I think you can really use food as an amazing tool for feeling and living well.
Q: You grew up in Estonia but spread your wings at a pretty young age, living in Finland, Italy, France, Brazil, Manchester and now London. How did your upbringing and general life experiences influence what you do today?
Yes, I left home relatively early- when I was 17. I think everything, from the moment we are born to the present moment, has an effect on us. It’s like a very large onion, where every layer is a reflection of a certain period in your life. Your environment, the people around you, and your personal growth. And ultimately that’s what forms the whole You. My life back home and all my travels that followed made me who I am today to an extent. But more than that, I made myself who I am today. I made choices and decisions that took me places, put me in certain situations and provided me with experiences that really formed my personality and who I am at my core. But also self-work, therapy, conversations you don’t always want to have, reflection, remembering, forgiveness, spending time being present with yourself – is what I believe gives us the opportunity to choose who we want to be. I truly believe that your past or even your present does not need to define who you are. Every day you have a new opportunity to choose who you want to be from this day onwards.
Q: What is your proudest achievement?
Achieving a work life that I truly enjoy. Getting to do what I love and loving what I do. It took me many years, but I can honestly say that now I get to do what I am really passionate about, what I believe in and what brings me joy.
Q: Do you have any insecurities (past or present), and how do you deal with them?
I don’t know if I would call them insecurities, I just have dips. Moments in time where it seems like everyone around me is doing more, better, bigger and I get into this fog of forgetting all the incredible things I am doing and all the fantastic opportunities that came my way. I think it is natural sometimes to compare yourself to others and make assumptions. But those rainy days don’t last. This quote kept popping up on my Instagram “Just remember 5 years ago, you dreamed about where you are now”. And truthfully speaking I think the reality I have manifested myself has exceeded my dreams. And I really feel like I am moving in the right direction and I am appreciating every step of that journey.
Q: You wear many hats professionally speaking, always juggling so many things. What do you do to unwind and relax?
It does not always come easy to me. Hence I think a lot of what I consider relaxing is still an activity. I think anyone who works for themselves can relate to how difficult it can be to switch off or not say yes to every single opportunity that comes your way, filling your hours and finding yourself constantly at capacity. But that is why self-massage has been such a big part of my life, and why I try to inspire other people to implement it into theirs. It is the most preset I feel.
Still, meditation can be tough for me, so self-massage, guided meditations, cooking, walking the dog, taking a bath(even though I can last about 10 minutes in it), reading, and watching “Grey’s Anatomy” is when my brain switches off from the “to do” list.
Q: Where are you at your happiest?
In nature, ideally in a fruit/vegetable garden. I feel immeasurable true joy when I get to pick up or even just look at fruit and vegetable gardens. Some of my most precious childhood memories are connected exactly to that. Be it when my grandma used to send me into her garden to pick “bits for the tea”, which meant to me collecting blackcurrant, cherry and mint leaves that she would then brew with black tea. Or even recently got to pick red currants at my dad’s house in Estonia with my nephew. I am that creep who picks up vegetables at a market and smells them. I just feel very connected to nature through that.
Around animals. I love animals and often get emotional when I see animals big and small, especially in their natural habitat.
And in our kitchen. When me and my partner make dinner together (it mostly means he is on pot-wash duty. It usually involves some dancing in between.
Q: Do you have any exciting projects or dreams for the future?
I do have some very exciting projects coming. One that is already in the works, but can not quite yet be revealed and another that is firmly formed in my head that I will definitely do my best to bring to life.
As far as dreams - when I close my eyes and I take myself to a happy place… I am outside a big house in the countryside, surrounded by friends and dogs. I hear my chickens. I see my big fruit tree garden. My greenhouse is lush with vegetables. Inside the house, there is a pie baking in the oven and a couple of books with my name on them in the library room.
Q: You have started training as a health coach. Can you tell me a little about where you are on this journey, and what made you start in the first place?
I think when I first read the definition of a health coach I recognised a lot of what I do in it already. Essentially a health coach is a bridge between professional health care providers and people. The goal is to guide and prompt people to implement small and big lifestyle and behaviour changes that will have a positive effect on their wellbeing long term. I think I maybe craved that guidance myself at one or several points in my life and I would love to be the helping hand to people who know that there is potential to live and feel better, but don’t know how to get there.
Q: Do you have any advice for people wanting to start on a self-care journey?
Start small. Make many small right steps. A lot of people are afraid of doing something, because they think they have to do everything. But you do not! Implementing 1 minute of self-care to start with is already a start, and the way it makes you feel is so motivating. So it gets addictive and your habits grow. Maybe you start with silly taking 1 minute to put your phone away and close your eyes and sit in silence, maybe you take a cold shower, or maybe it’s a self-massage or dry brushing. Pick whatever resonates with you best.
Q: How often would you recommend doing face yoga or face massages? How long does it take generally to start seeing results?
You can do a few minutes of each every day. I always say that the easiest way to incorporate face massage into your routine and be consistent with it is to implement it into your morning/evening product application. Add a few moves to the application of each product and you have a face massage routine. Try to massage your chest and neck every day, it’s the best and easiest way to promote lymphatic drainage and de-puff the whole face. My favourite part of face yoga and one I practice the most is Eye yoga. It is amazing for the surrounding muscles and the health of your eyes.
It depends on what results you are looking for and how consistent you are being. For me, face massages are beyond results and physical effects. It’s essential for my wellbeing and mental health. And I would love it if people saw it for more than just diminished lines and wrinkles.
Q: As you know, I follow your skincare tips religiously. Can you recommend your top 5 favourite products that are suitable to most skin types?
If I wasn’t recommending brands and someone was trying to build their skincare routine, then I would say that simplicity is key.
A good cleanser, moistures and an SPF is a perfect place to start. From there you can add “actives”, which could be in the form of serums or toners. Vitamin C and hyaluronic acid are the ingredients to look for in serums that suit most skin types. Gentle chemical exfoliation is essential for cell regeneration, so look for toners or masks with AHA, and BHAs.
If I had to pick 3 favourite products then Skinceuticals H.A Intensifier, Environ AVST Cleanser and Ultra Violette Supreme Screen SPF
You grew up watching your mother make all sorts of homemade concoctions and potions. Is there one recipe you could share with us?
Brew a strong cup of camomile tea and allow it to cool. Pour into ice cube containers and freeze. When ready to use, wrap the ice cube in a flannel and gently rub across the whole face and neck ( better done over the sink to avoid flooding :))
Q: Until you recently started your home renovation, you have welcomed many lucky clients (me included) in your beautiful home studio, where you deliver skincare treatments and massages in a setting and manner that feels very personal. How would you describe the experience of welcoming strangers into your home? Any moments of human connection that have stayed with you?
It’s special. I feel calm and content in our home, so to be able to welcome people into that atmosphere made me feel incredibly fortunate. I decided to keep my studio in our home for several reasons. 1- it helps me to keep my prices down. 2- I can be flexible with my time and try to accommodate people as much as I can. But most importantly - home is my happy place, and facial massage and treatments are my passion, so combining those two in my mind was a recipe for a happy client.
Q: How can people experience your treatments?
You can book a face and/or body treatment with me through the link below. In the next few months, I will be holding a residency at Big Beauty in Hackney and looking forward to seeing as many of you there as I can.
Thank you for reading along! I hope you found this conversation with Ksenija as fascinating as I did. Before you go, I have a favour to ask…